a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
|—||Ram Dass (via onlinecounsellingcollege)|
|—||Andre Dubus (via drupes)|
wouldnt it be cool to just like not feel nervous about everything all the time
Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family.
are you canadian
if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited
great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die
Someone bumped into my chair and I said sorry.
someone bumped into my chair and i punched them in the face
someone bumped into my chair and I didn’t even give a fuck
someone bumped into my chair and i start a revolution
No one bumped into my chair because they weren’t able to assemble it.