niallhortonhearsawho:

a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

whores:

whores:

Don’t cry because its over

cry because you’re ugly

grrrlfever:

wouldnt it be cool to just like not feel nervous about everything all the time

voldemortandco:

zubat:

Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family.

are you canadian

14th2:

aiclan:

afrogay:

if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited 

if

great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die

peep-toe-shoes:

jointhecarrotarmy:

silence-insolace:

solluxforpresident:

karkatforpresident:

Someone bumped into my chair and I said sorry.

someone bumped into my chair and i punched them in the face

someone bumped into my chair and I didn’t even give a fuck

someone bumped into my chair and i start a revolution 

No one bumped into my chair because they weren’t able to assemble it.

smokeporch:

Drama-Free